5 Tips For Someone Being Bullied (#SpiritDay)

FEISTY FOXES! (This name thing is failing quick, lol)

HELLO! I'm currently sitting outside enjoying the cool fall air feeling very inspired. I just got back from fall break two days ago and it feels good to back. I feel refreshed and ready for this next half of the semester.

I was scrolling through Twitter today and I saw that #SpiritDay was trending. I had no idea what it was about so I looked into it, and it looks like today where GLAAD is taking an initiative to spread awareness about the bullying of LGBT youth. (CHECK IT OUT HERE!)

I get very excited about social media campaigns like this because they do in fact spark conversations and can certainly lead to change in our society.

I get very excited about social media campaigns like this because they do in fact spark conversations and can certainly lead to change in our society.

When I saw this campaign, I also started thinking about my own life and my own experiences. I was bullied for a very long time when I was younger, particularly in middle and high school. I wasn't like the other guys & I wasn't good at sports. I didn't like talking about football and video games all the time. All of this combined caused taunting, teasing, laughing, and being left out (which I think is one of the most brutal forms of bullying).  I was also in Boy Scouts.. I bet you can guess how that went. 

Going through those years of bullying, I learned some tactics that can help you get through those tough times.

Unfortunately, life isn't like the movies where a person stands up to their bully, punches them out, and calls it a happy ending. There are times where you can't escape bullies because you will see them every day and they are the big dogs on campus. Sometimes, you just have to be brave and deal with them. This isn't easy, but there are some small things you can do to make it better! 

**DISCLAIMER: Everyone experiences bullying differently. I know that these tips don't work for every person or every situation... please please please, if you feel you are in danger, seek out help. Talk to friends, family, and/or adults. You shouldn't have to go through anything alone.

1) Focus on your goals.

Use their hatred as motivation.

Unfortunately, bullies don't want you to succeed. They want to see you fail. So, show them they have no power over you and work as hard as you can.

Try your best to ignore their hateful words and comments and focus on you.

Get good grades and focus on the future. Explore your passions.

This will not only get them out of your mind, but it also turn the bullying into a positive motivation in your life instead of a downer. If you think about it, their bullying could lead to your success.

2) Don't react. That's what they WANT. 

The part that bullies like is the reaction that they are going to get from you.

They want you to yell back. They want you to cry. They want you to try to defend yourself.

If you stop reacting, they will stop trying.

I'm fortunate to say that I haven't been physically bullied very often, so I don't know have much experience with that. However, I would definitely say just fight the urge to physically hurt them and run to a teacher or adult and let them know what happened. Fighting back won't solve the issue.

Talking to adults isn't "tattling" or being a "snitch!" If you feel you are in danger,  IT'S OKAY TO TALK TO SOMEONE. Don't let bullies or even your friends talk you out of taking care of yourself and your safety.

Seek out your school counselors and parents. THEY WANT TO HELP YOU. 

Something else you could do is have your friend talk to someone for you if you don't feel comfortable. Staying anonymous may also be very important, so keep that in mind. 

3) Talk to your counselors and other mentors.

School counselors are an amazing resource! Their job is to help YOU as best as they can. They want you to talk out what you are going through and they want to help you as best as they can. The great part about going to counselors is that they don't tell anyone what you say and you can say as little and as much as you want.

I was fortunate enough to have a great counselor in middle and high school, but I know there are many large schools that don't have this resource available. Remember, sometimes the best counselors and people to talk to don't have the title of "counselor." If there is a teacher or an adult in your life that you have a connection with, ask them if you can chat about the situation at hand and what you should do. Also, your close friends or peers that might also be dealing with bullying can help you greatly.

Talking out what you're going through is key because there will be someone with possible ideas to help your situation. Also, dealing with built up emotions can be overwhelming... sometimes it's good to just let out how you're feeling!

4) Become friends with other people that are being bullied

As lonely as it seems, you are certainly not the only one being bullied. Find other people who are dealing with similar situations and create relationships with them. You might have nothing in common but the fact that you are being outcasted, but that's enough for you to create a support system.

If you are feeling like you are in danger, stay in touch with these people and make sure neither of you have to be alone during school. Walk each other to class and keep a buddy system if necessary.

5) It's NOT YOU. IT'S THEM. 

Yes, this is very cliche!!! However, it is very true. Bullies usually seek to attack other verbally or physically because they don't know how to deal with their own issues and securities. That's one of the reasons attacking them or bullying them back doesn't help... it just adds to the problem. 

Just remember that a lot of bullying isn't a personal attack on you, but rather an outlet for a person to let out their angst.

Bullying is definitely a tough topic, and there isn't one solution to stopping it and dealing with it. However, staying strong, thinking positively, and focusing on your happiness is key!

I hope some of this helped you if you are dealing with bullying or if you know someone who is being bullied! 

Have you ever been bullied? Do you have any tips about combating bullying? (This is completely anonymous)

Thank you so much for reading! This is a very personal topic of mine, and I'm so glad I got to write about it! Please feel free to leave comments and let me know what you'd like to see on this site.

Love you all! 

Next week's post is going to be super different but something I'm super excited about!!

Stay tuned for more details :) 

- @feistyfletch